The Power of Radical Forgiveness❤️
There can be no healing without forgiveness. The simple act of letting go of past hurts has the power to move you forward. Forgiveness is not forgetting; forgiveness is agreeing to move on without bitterness and hate in your heart. I heard a wonderful message on this topic from Rupert A. Hayles, Jr, the Chief Operating Officer at Pillar College, a Christian college in New Jersey. Hayles, credits Rev. R. T. Kendall, pastor of Westminister Chapel for his work on forgiveness. Hayles’ unique message really made me think about the story of Joseph and his multi-colored coat in terms of forgiveness.
Quick Biblical Backstory
Genesis chapters 37-48
Joseph was the 11th son of Israel. He was a person of high moral character, but sometimes he lacked tact. He stirred up hatred and jealously among his brothers when he revealed a special dream. Joseph’s dreams caused people to love him or hate him. He was the apple of his father’s eye and Israel gave him a beautiful multi-colored coat. This act further alienated him from his brothers and they sought revenge. They sold him as a slave in Egypt and eventually he went to prison. His steadfast love of God kept him and his gift of revealing dreams landed him the second-highest position in Egypt. It is there that he sees his brothers twenty years later. They do not recognize him, but he knows them.
What Would You Do If You Were Wronged By Family?
I don’t think I would have acted as Joseph did. His brothers did him wrong and caused him to be separated from his beloved Dad and younger brother. Instead of acting in anger Joseph showed love and embraced his betrayers. Joseph had radical forgiveness and realized what his brothers wanted for harm God wanted for good. This may seem contrary to what is logical but the opposite of forgiveness is revenge and Joseph acted out of love.
I need help myself when dealing with difficult people to show love and not hate so the message I learned from Hayles was so appropriate. Looking for tips to keep the peace with family and friends this holiday season? Keep reading on for Hayles’ five tips on how to practice radical forgiveness.
#1 Don’t Tell Anyone What Has Been Done
Joseph practiced discretion in the area of what his brothers did. He did not talk about it with other people. We can all learn those lessons because telling how you were wronged can cause a wedge that can never be repaired. When you have a problem with someone go to that person and try to resolve it without bringing outside influences into the situation.
#2 Don’t Let Those That Hurt You Feel Afraid or Guilty
Joseph did not let the horrible acts of the past stop him from trying to build a bridge to the future. When we are young we often do or say things that we regret. None of us is exempt from this, however purposely trying to bring on guilt will only stop the healing process. There isn’t anything positive or good about making those that hurt you feel guilty or afraid.
#3 Let Those Who Have Offended You Save Face
Joseph did not seek revenge for all that was lost. He didn’t see his father or younger brother for 20 years. Instead of being bitter, he was grateful for the opportunity to see his father and brother again. It’s important to remember that you often cannot change the past and unless the act was criminal it serves no purpose to relive it. Learn a lesson from these situations, seek out the good, and move on.
#4 You have to Forgive Today
Radical forgiveness, the act of letting go of past hurts is powerful. It frees up space in your heart and mind. Forgiving does not mean to forget because the hurts of our past make up who we are today and often shape us in positive ways. The hardships that Joseph faced being sold into slavery, falsely accused of rape and being sent to a dungeon, and revealing dreams to two workers with one promptly forgetting him allowed God to work on Joseph’s character. He became a wise and more compassionate man.
#5 You Must Bless Them
This is one of the hardest things to do. How can you bless someone who has hurt you? Joseph blessed his family by taking care of them even though they caused him great hurt. There are many hurts in families between siblings and parents however we are called to honor our parents so helping them even when they have caused us hurt is a way to bring us closer to God. The compassionate ways that Joseph blessed his family allowed him to be blessed. His change of heart was truly a miracle and I am encouraged every time I read it.
Conclusion: Forgiveness Heals the Heart and Body
Holiday and other gatherings often bring a lot of tension because people cannot let go of past hurts and practice radical forgiveness. It takes a lot of humility to ask for forgiveness and grant that forgiveness. The benefit of doing this is that it makes the body lighter and healthier. Revenge and hate destroy the vessel that carries them. I try to take some steps each day to forgive others and myself.
Self-Reflections: Think about a situation when you had to ask for forgiveness. What was the outcome? I would love to hear your thoughts on how practicing forgiveness has helped you.
Candace Waller is a Christian fiction author. Her novel, What Goes Around Comes Around can be purchased on Amazon. Her new book Good Things Comes, a sequel to What Goes Around Comes Around, is available for preorder on Amazon.
One Reply to “The Power of Radical Forgiveness❤️”
It’s much easier to tell others to forgive than executing the process individually. The Biblical concept has its merits, and it can be satisfying to the soul. It it works for you, then use. It’s a good recommendation to start, but just like other things in life, it doesn’t work for everyone.