The Struggle Is Real

I haven’t posted in almost six weeks because I needed a mental health break. This hiatus was due to the loss of my beloved friend I’ll call Paul. He was a church leader and an all-around wonderful man. I was looking forward to seeing him for services when in-person gatherings are permitted when I got the devastating news that he had taken his own life. I was heartbroken. I could not believe that this happened. I kept asking my church leaders if they were sure. It must have been a mistake. Paul could not be gone; I was planning to see him in a few weeks.

Suicide was not something I would expect from a church leader I thought and then I felt ashamed. Just because he was a leader didn’t mean he was exempt from issues and problems. I think sometimes parishioners forget that ministers, deacons, and other church leaders have problems. They also have the added pressure of counseling members.

The Covid-19 pandemic would not permit a funeral. I could not hug his wife, children, or grandchildren. I grieved. How awful it was for them. I reached for my Bible looking for comfort in reading the Psalms. I prayed and then I felt peace. I knew that whatever torment that he was going through that made him commit this devastating act, he was now at peace. It was the people left behind that had to deal with the pain.

When I was first quarantined, I would watch the tallies Governor Murphy gave. I would be glued to the television and would watch the faces of everyday people who succumbed to Covid-19. I would pray for their families, never considering the tolls on mental health that were not included in the daily tally. This virus has not only impacted the physical health of people, but it has also exposed weak links in mental health and the positive and negative aspects of all of our characters. I was horrified at the callousness of people. I saw masks and gloves carelessly thrown on the ground. I watched news reports of senior citizens and other vulnerable people being attacked in hospitals.

The constant barrage of negativity made me fear going outside except to the store for necessities. I stayed in my bed, watching sitcoms and depressing news. I finally had enough and searched for outside activities. I started a garden just to force myself to go outside. I limited my exposure to news, and I kept my ear open to positive stories. I was comforted to hear about the bravery of our medical personnel, people helping others, and the willingness of people to share.

Covid-19 and the protesting of police brutality sparked by the horrific George Floyd death made me realize that our emotional and mental states are just as important as our physical health. I don’t know what drove my friend to end his life, and I probably will never know. The only thing I can do right now is to pray and to make sure that I maintain positive mental health. Here are are a few things that helped me win the battle over depression.

1. Go Outside Everyday
Gardening and outside chores are great ways to get some exercise and sunshine. We all need vitamin D rays from the sun to stay healthy. Being indoors all the time is new for most of us and finding safe ways to get outside are important for our mental, spiritual, and physical health. Please make sure to wear masks in public and maintain social distancing.

2. Turn Off the Television
I eliminated watching television in the morning and afternoon and limited watching in the evenings. I got my updates online because the constant Covid-19 death I saw on television made me very sad.

3. Explore a New Activity or Dedicate Time to an Old One
I set goals for my writing, posting more articles and content for my book while being quarantined. I tracked my achievements on a weekly basis. Many of us are home and have the time to try something new. Take an online class, join a group, or start your own online club. Make wise use of this time.

4. Stay in Touch With Family and Friends
Indoor dining and large group gatherings are not possible as of this writing. However, there are still ways that you can reach out to your loved ones. Call your friends and family or set a Zoom meeting to catch up. I like to write letters and got notecards from the dollar store. Use social media as a way to keep up with the people you care about.

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help
We feel the burden of the world sometimes but it is important to take care of ourselves and practice self-care. Sometimes the blues aren’t alleviated by talking to friends or going outside. There is no shame in seeking out help with a professional therapist. The National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. These are troubling times and if you are struggling please seek the help of a professional therapist or reach out to family or friends.

About Candace WallerCandace Waller is a Christian fiction author. Her novel, What Goes Around Comes Around can be purchased on Amazon.

Share this post: on Twitter on Facebook on Google+ on LinkedIn