The Art of Flirting: Communicating Romantic Interest ❤️
Paul Carrick Brunson writes in his book It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be) that singles have lost the ability to flirt. We spend so much time behind electronic devices that when it comes to interacting in person we become awkward and stilted. In my previous post The Art of Conversation, I talked about what singles should say on the first date.
In my novel What Goes Around Comes Around, Luke flirts with Nicole during their first date. He makes eye contact, he teases her, he finds way to gently and respectfully touch her, and he lets her know that he wants to spend time with her. Nicole finds herself flustered because she has been out of the dating and flirting arena for so long. This is true for so many singles, and is something we all must work on.
Flirting is an important way to let someone know that you are interested in them. Couples who are in happy relationships continue to flirt with each other. Flirting should be playful and fun. The objective is to engage the other person and get their attention in respectful and joyous ways. Please read below on ways to make The Art of Flirting a breeze.
- Smile
Your smile is the first thing that people notice. Tyra Banks writes in her book Perfect is Boring that people should Smize (smile with their mouth and eyes). A genuine smile changes your whole face and invites others to connect with you.
Make sure your smile is the best it can be by visiting your dentist on a regular basis, practice good oral hygiene and make sure your lips are attractive. - Make Eye Contact
There is a saying that goes the eyes are a mirror to the soul. People who flirt successfully know when to make eye contact and look away. You don’t want to stare too intently, or you may make the person uncomfortable. The successful flirter should smile with their mouth or eyes (Smize), and make appropriate eye contact. Staring at the floor or constantly looking away can make you seem that you lack self-confidence and having a heathy amount of confidence is extremely sexy. - Playful Teasing
Teasing someone in a gentle playful way expresses interest and shows attention to that person. Remember when you were in grade school and that annoying boy or girl teased you? You complained about it to your parent and were told that was a way the person was showing that he/she liked you. The behavior of teasing to show interest continues into adulthood. - Lightly Touching
When a person slaps high-five or gently touches your arm they are showing interest. Light touching is a way to show they want to connect with you physically. - Spend Time
Don’t run away when it comes to a person you like. Stick around a while or perhaps invite them for a cup of coffee (Check out my post Don’t Be Afraid of No: Dating 101 for more tips on this.) A sign that a person is into you is they are willing to spend time getting to know you. A coffee date is perfect for the first few encounters. You get the chance to get to know someone without the expense and pressure of a first date. - Body Language cues
A lot of flirting is non-verbal, the body sends off signals that this person may be into you. Does the person mirror your movement? Do they lean in when you are talking? Do they laugh and smile during your encounters? These non-verbals signs often show that this person is interested in getting to know you better. - Genuine Compliment
I watched another writer friend compliment this man. His eyes lit up and he blushed with pleasure. An authentic compliment can break down barriers and men are often not given a lot of compliments. When you compliment a person try to say something positive about something that is not obvious. For example, compliment something that shows you are introspective.
I saw a video that Paul Carrick Brunson had done and he said making a funny face (stick your tongue out or something to that effect) is a way to show that you are playful and is another way of flirting.
I hope these tips helped you beef up your flirting game.