Love Comes Slowly ❤️
I am impatient when it comes to starting a new relationship. I obsess over the question, “Does he like me?” I spend countless hours with friends dissecting every interaction I have with a new man that I am interested in. Finally, a good friend said to me “It’s best to be friends first.”
I paused. I had to think about that statement. You see, I watch “reality” TV shows (which really aren’t reality but I digress) with titles like Married in 30 days or The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Or movies and songs that celebrate love at first sight. Hollywood often depicts love in a fast paced way. Fortunately, or unfortunately love in the real world develops at a much slower pace.
When speaking to my friends who are in successful long term relationships I learned that love comes slowly and the best relationships grow out of friendships. Let’s face it, most of us put our best foot forward on a first date. We pick just the right outfit. We Google the person or we study their online profile. Our goal is to get a second date or to make a connection.
Friends First
Relationships that develops from friendships are often more authentic because you see the person in their true setting. You aren’t out to impress anyone. You may meet this person in your daily life and through your interactions discover that you have things in common. The feelings are different in that during a friendship you develop a mutual respect and appreciation for the other person. Characteristics are revealed in a way that you can ponder without the stress of worrying about a relationship.
This has happened to me and one of my best relationships developed this way. I found myself talking to this man more and more. I observed how he dealt with stress. I saw how he handled difficult situations. I saw how he performed in business and his work ethic. Being his friend made me more relaxed. Love came slowly and when I realized I liked this person I was nervous but happy. I had an understanding of who he was.
I took a chance and asked him to a coffee or tea date. He accepted. In my previous post, Don’t Be Afraid of the No, I talk about the importance of having a short date to discover if there is mutual interest. This early date went really well. I kept wondering to myself, “‘Where have you been all my life?” I think this is why people say you find the one you are meant to be with when you aren’t looking because the best relationships develop out of friendships.
My great romance may not have developed to the pace of a reality tv show but it was a great experience for me. So let love come slowly and enjoy the ride.